I’ve been single now for about 3/4 years and in all fairness I haven’t really had time to put that much effort into finding a boyfriend. I’ve been concentrating on writing my book, promoting my book and deciding what to do next with my life.
Not wanting to be one of those ‘looked after’ women I have made my prority since stopping escorting about my career. Don’t get me wrong I am hoping to find someone who will pamper me and spoil me rotten ;-p but I don’t like the idea of being totally dependent on someone, as much as I want to settle down and have a family I also have a fierce independent streak and I’d like to have my ‘own thing’ going on too on the side. I’d like to be one of those wives/mums that juggle some sort of work with being a mum, and striking a balance between the two but with my children and family being the priority.
I’m considering at the moment buying a dating franchise. For this I would hope to kill two birds with one stone so to speak. Relationship advice is something I’m interested in and good at, and I’ve learnt a lot of positive things about relationships and why they don’t work through working as an escort. I could use these skills in a positive way as a dating agent. Secondly owning my own upmarket agency, I’d get to vet the people I enlist and snare the goodun’s to date for myself ;-p
The guys that I dated as an escort would frequently not be able to understand why I was single and would tell me that the guy I ended up with would be a ‘very lucky guy’. It’s lovely for them to think this, but is it just because they are people that have seen me as an escort? How would/will men view me that haven’t used the services of an escort. Are they going to feel ‘lucky’? Or are they going to see me as some sort of nymphomaniac that will always be craving the exciting life and variety I had as an escort. This couldn’t be further from the truth. As I discuss in my book The Girlfriend Experience, I can’t wait to be with one man, and start a family. I don’t miss the sex from my escorting dates, I miss the sex and closeness I had with my boyfriends – the people I cared about – that one special person. I don’t need or crave variety with a number of men, I crave closeness with that special someone.
One night stands don’t interest me at all. In interviews I’ve been asked how sex for work is different from sex with a boyfriend. I think this is one of the most ridiculous questions that a person could ask. It’s like asking someone who has one night stands how that sex is different to sex with a boyfriend. You can’t compare the sex with someone who you care about to a one night stand or escort job. I don’t want anymore meaningless sex in my life, and the ‘lucky guy’ that gets to take me on will have to be patient because I’m not going to be jumping into bed with just anyone!
Hey “Becky”
I was really intrigued to find out you’d ACTUALLY got round to writing this book (Congratulations BTW)!!!!
However, most of all, I wanted to ask you something slightly more puzzling……. have you ever fancied a neighbour and invited him round for flirtatious dinner dates??
Just a thought.
Er thank you – but who is this?
Hmmm, where to start…..
There are so many people out there seeking the warm, loving, fulfilling relationship that they deserve. How is it then that they seem unable to meet the person that is ‘right’ for them. I wish I knew the answer. I hope you find the right guy for you. I do think you have a head start – You know what it is you are looking for, and you are honest with yourself about who you really are. This comes through ion your book, in your interviews and in your blog. It is this honesty that is going to help you find the right guy.
You’ve taken a very courageous decision. Not only have you decided to change the focus of your work and life, but you have done it very publically. As a consequence you are always going to be at a disadvantage when attempting to start a new relationship. Many of the men you are goling to meet will have formed an opinion of who you are. Unfortunately, men being men, many of these will have got it all wrong. I felt there was a hint of self doubt in your posting, about whether you would be seen as a nymphomaniac. Like all men I like to ‘think’ I know everything, however due to some strange upbringing I actually know that I don’t
While the guys you escorted may have said it for the wrong reasons, they were right when they said that your future partner is going to be a really lucky guy….
To paraphrase my namesake,
“you say what you mean, and how you almost always mean something that’s all about being straight and good.”
I hope your new life continues to move in a positive direction and that you remain happy.
Thank you for your positive comments and thoughts
I am married to a girl who was a wl for a while, though not that long. You ask the question, “will he be wondering if I miss the wild, fun days etc.” and that could be a valid point. For my part I did pursue my wife however it wasn’t until after we dated that she informed me of the difference between “us” and her clients.
She certainly does everything for me that she would have done for a client….but a hell of a lot more. The intimacy, love and affection, even just stupid little things like caring for me when I am ill, cooking for me, helping with my kids when I have them. I have known a few escorts fairly well actually and have yet to meet one who didn’t have their reasons for doing what they did. Most of them were extremely old fashioned in so many ways.
Now, the girl I married has really been such a great wife and perfect companion, best friend and lover that I do sometimes wonder how she was able to “fit in” as a wl. Maybe she didn’t?
My only advice is that, if a man loves you he will protect and serve you….that is his job. If you have issues with your past, just tell him you don’t wish to discuss it, it is history. As long as you really do love him, let him know it by your actions and he will believe it. Does the rest really matter? Hell, why should she ask forgiveness for her past, unless I express forgiveness for my past? I saw wl’s, hell, that is how we met.
She once told me how to let go of things, unrelated things. I often piss myself off with what I have done or said. Her advice to me was “Accept it”. Funny thing is, it works for me. I just accept it and move forward. As for her being a wl, I know the difference between gfe and an actual girlfriend…..so will your future partner.
Thanks for your thoughts and input on my blog
To me the difference between a client and boyfriend/partner is very obvious and shouldn’t need explaining. It’s very black and white – a client pays for time a boyfriend doesn’t. That’s why clients should never get confused about the feelings an escort has for them, because whilst money is exchanging hands for time spent together there should be no misunderstanding that it is, to put it bluntly – a business transaction. It doesn’t mean that escorts don’t enjoy the date, or care about the people they see – but it means that it is not a real relationship and should never be confused with one. Once the money stops exchanging hands and there is intimacy involved then it becomes personal.
You seem to be surprised that your ex escort partner is so normal… intimacy, looking after you when you are ill, helping with your kids. That’s pretty standard stuff that one would expect in a relationship along with much more. I’m not sure what sort of escorts you have booked but there are many of us that are very ‘normal’ people!
I’m not embarrassed, ashamed or sorry about my past, and whoever I meet will have to accept that. I’m not going to apologise for who I am or what I have done because I’m a good person and I am not ashamed that I worked as an escort. I’ve had some incredible experiences, and met some amazing people.
By saying you struggle to understand how your partner ‘fitted in’ it suggests you think that escorts generally aren’t fit to be wives and mothers. Why does this come as a surprise to you? Many of us are normal girls. Don’t forget that by nature many of us are very giving people. We spent a lot of time making men feel good about themselves and giving them affection, so naturally many of us have a very caring nature – Especially those of us offering The Girlfriend Experience where we offer a complete ‘well being’ package as a pose to just a sexual service.
I’m pleased that you are now happily married